Is it okay to just want to be left alone? Is it okay to want to run away from all the pain and suffering and just be who I choose to be? Is it wrong to want a life where I don't have to fake a smile saying everything is ok just to get people off my back?
For once, music has no advice for me. For once, I can sit for hours and hours just thinking about leaving this all behind with no problem. For once, I hate who I am and where I've come from.
There's a life out there where I could be strong, encouraged, somewhat independent but also able to fall without being scared of not being caught. But where exactly is that life..? Many moons, many breaths, and many years just out of reach for now.
They say to never run and to face your problems and fears... well maybe I'm just not strong enough to fight against this because of the fact that I've been fighting so long for myself to stay sane. And all those other times no matter how hard I fought... I lost. And those other times no matter how hard I cried and hoped... nothing became any better. Never was there any other way out then to give in.
I would never wish this upon anyone and never will I make someone feel these feelings like my own loved ones have done to me.
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